Restitution for Olde Albion

 

The news is the NSW Police in Australia has apologized to the aboriginal first peoples for their invasion and confiscation of their land. The Celts, Vikings, Normans, Picts and Frisians people and even the Jutes have also apologized to the Anglo Saxon first peoples and offered two Pound, sixteen shillings and five pence for restitution for a special fund for damages and stress caused to the said first peoples for their foray into Albion.

Rome has also apologized for their senseless invasion into Olde Albion and have offered restitution of 22 Dollars for damages to beach furniture and to sea groins and stuff caused, during the invasion.

Extra Terrestrials or Godless Creatures.

In a moment of boredom I put this question to my wife. There is a lot of conjecture on face book and in the media in general as to the possibility of Extra-Terrestrials. I decided to take this further. If they have two eyes, two arms, two legs, two ears and a nose we also look somewhat similar. The discussion however is not about the differences but where we came from originally. Are we related in some way?  

One can ask who made them, did they arrive on their respective planets as distinct collective species. Now to the heavy stuff. Have they got a God like we have? As a grouping do they come in varying colors, from blacks through the browns, to white, with different lip, nose, eye shapes. On their own planet, is it just them? Do they keep animals?

I will approach this in a different way. When they die where do THEY go?  I have always suspected we, as a collective species of Primate revert to being a spirit, the church refer to it as a soul. Talking about churches, do they pray and if so who to, as they do not have the luxury of a God to confess their sins to. To take it a little further, for them what would be considered a sin? Do they have wives? These are questions that are never discussed in the general media. I would like to discuss personal differences.

Its the after life I am interested in. If they never were a spirit or a soul, then why do WE talk about Spirits or a souls, which somehow is connected to an afterlife, other than having a God...to pray to on Sundays. Doesn't seem to jell, know what I mean? 

Yes, I suspect we are not like them in many ways. For instance taking it to the extreme, would they have creatures like Taylor Swift that would attract hundreds and thousands of other Extra Terrestrials to turn up to hear one of their own, sing songs and stuff.

I suspect we, as a collective species will always remain animalistic and will never equal an Extra-Terrestrial, anyway my other pet theory if you read my book, I am still writing, will be the end of our species by around 2030...of a our own doing and not by warring. You don't want to be around, believe me.

 

, from blacks through the browns, to white, with different lip, nose, eye shapes. On their own planet, is it just them. Do they keep animals.

 

I am up to about 25,000 words into Morrison's Travels, my latest book. Half fact, half fiction. It tells of NASA's last space shuttle to fly to the space station before it used the Russian Rocket to get to the Space Station, while it investigated a different means of propulsion. There was one Space shuttle left on the launch pad, packed full of scientific gear, this payload was not coming back. 

Morrison a well respected amateur astronomer, approached NASA  to fly with it, as he had just been diagnosed with Leukemia and wanted to choose his death and "Die Among the Stars". But things did not go according as plan. Hopefully, the book might be published by the end of the year. Oh, it also tells of the earth's ends times, which I mathematically predict to be around 2032 ish.....and why 

Dangerous Times for a political blogger.

 

I have selected about 60 of my blog articles and published them in book form. The book is Dangerous times for a Political Blogger. I would have like to have increased the number of articles to around 100, but my political views may have seen to be somewhat controversial. 

At present I am writing a novel named Morrison's travels, who had permission to travel on the last space shuttle that was not returning, that is explained in the book .

At present Albion's People blog, the site where the 60 articles were sourced for Dangerous Times is sitting on 73,660 hits. Most of these articles were written for the British National Party back in the early 2000's. 

Our Origins

                                 

  

                         Where did I come from?

As an aside, I suspect when we first arrived we resembled the second primate from the left heading this article. We homo sapiens as a species of primate, were not unlike Urangutans, Chimps or Gorrillas except we did not have tails, climb trees nor did we walk on our knuckles.

So I am going for number two. I am going to stick my neck out here and claim we were also all the same colour, as are all the other differing collective groups of creatures on this planet, be they walruses, albatrosses, forget about Butterflies please. They are allowed to have different colours wings. 

It all guesswork, as 4 million years have passed since these experiments were being carried out, you can understand why this information has been lost due to the passage of time. 

To sum up, our primate species have small, subtle colour changes from ebony Black skin colour, through all shades of brown to white or Caucasoid, slight alterations to eyes, nose, lips even eyelids, also skull shape. We are Primates which include all monkeys, and for those of you that are taking notes, our Human primate species is Homo Sapiens. You must admit there is a worrying similarity between us and our monkey cousins. This anomaly of difference in similarities is not clear in any of our brother Primates. WHY?

I suppose I am asking the same question again but in a different way, but I have mentioned this odd anomaly on several occasions, and I ask the question again. Comparing all life on this Planet whether it be animal, fish, birds and insect why it is WE are the only collective species of Primate on this planet that are all DIFFERENT in skin colour with differing lip and nose shapes and sizes, even different eyelid shapes and hair consistency, including skeletal and skull shapes. 

It is a good question which academics are terrified of discussing and I do understand why, it brings religion into the equation. 

The changes are still going on today, but they are not active but are the result of the original experiments between the original Homo Sapiens now born with differing characteristics, and over millions of years one can understand there is an enormous subtlety in the continuing delicate changes that continue today. Like the new born child when Gran points out he has dad’s lips. 

It’s not unlike one having gone to a lot of trouble and knowhow breeding show chickens that ceased popularity, so the breeding was stopped and those left behind just roamed and mated with whoever and what was available, ignorant of the original genetic experimental purpose.... if that make any sense and this free ranging continues to this very day. So where will this take us, you ask. 

Now what I am hearing on the nightly news is the continuing disturbing weather reports of severe cyclones, floods, fires and famines in one part of the earth or other and at the same time, the reporter adds this unusual weather is going to become much more common in the future with comments like records set ’since records began.’ The reporter rarely if ever yet adds WHY this weather is happening. When, and if there is a loose reference, it is referred to as Global Warming. 

Let’s look a little closer at this thing called ‘Global Warming’ This is not a particular large planet compared to our trillions of neighbours. We are told It has been populated for millions of years but it is only recently, around the last 260 years, accelerating from the beginning of what is commonly known as the industrial revolution to the present time, and due to their activities, it has been the human primates that have caused profound changes in the weather patterns. 

So where do we go from here? When you watch the news and there is an aerial shot of a city you may be forgiven whispering under your breath “Christ, you wouldn’t wanna come ‘ome pissed.” It is only because we are an intelligent species, and through habit and common sense we can find our own house. There will come a time when we will not be looking for our own house but looking for personal safety. 

There are trillions of bits of rocks circling their own suns in the immediate galaxy but let leave the universe out for the time being it gets too difficult to comprehend, let’s just stick to our own galaxy. 

Now among the other planets there must have other intelligences much more advanced than ours, as there must have been others that came and died because of pestilence, disease, famine and wars. We are nothing special and our end will be decided by us. 

Firstly let me write briefly about the intelligence that genetically engineered our beginnings. We must do our best here and move religion out, into its own pigeonhole or it will get very messy. These creatures who came from other star systems, and there have been educated guesses where they arrived from, like from a planet of Orion’s belt, Zeta Reticuli One, or even Reticuli Two. 

Now if they were to have flown in their saucer things at the speed of light it makes interesting reading because at the speed of light at 670,616,629 mph or 186,000 miles per second in a vacuum, it would take from the nearest star system travelling at the recognized and accepted speed of light, thousands of years to arrive here. I believe some of these ‘Saucers’ are as large as some cities or at least twenty miles in diameter, but at that size the journey will certainly slow then up. 

Mr Einstein as clever as he was explained in his formula that E = MC 2. It is mass that dictates the speed of light. It does hold true in this part of the universe. In another universe where does it leave his speed of light if mass is not factored in as it may not even exist? 

This is a repeat from a previous article. I would like to put our position in our Galaxy into perspective. Proxima Centauri is 4.24 light years away from Earth. The furthest humans have ever travelled is a loop around the moon: a tiny .00000007 light years away. Voyager one our furthest and currently fastest travelling space craft—would still take about 75,000 years to reach this system, our closest neighbour. 

I suppose we refer to slingshots here to speed up our trip, or I have to assume they don’t travel at the conventional speed of light at all but rather via dimension hopping. Let us discuss the future, ours. 

We have to discuss global warming that is causing these weather catastrophes, but more importantly what is it that drives global warming. Whatever it is, it is warming the planet up. I have written before with the huge numbers of population which as far as I am led to believe has never reduced, well certainly not in recent times. In the year 1900 the world’s population was something less that 2 billion, I won’t list the intervening years but in 2022 it stands at eight Billion, by 2050 it is tipped to reach 9.8 billion.

Now the question for humanity is, is there a limit and what is it? First of all of course there is a limit, as it is it is population figures that drive Global Warming which at present is affecting our weather, another say two billion souls won’t help. 

You may have read of the description The Race to Mars. What you are being told, but very gently is by 2050 we are going to have to look for a new home. It will be a minimum number of humans that will be invited to join this ‘Race’ but what will be the future for those left? 

It is impossible guess, as it has never happened before, but I suspect a scenario that will occur because of the increase in fires, floods famine etc will cause an enormous movement of people all looking for something that will be safe from the effects of terrible weather and resulting famine. 

There will be no safe place and the huge movement of people will have nowhere to go. One cannot even begin to predict what might happen as it has never happened before. 

The race to Mars will guarantee that Humans will not die as a species but rather it will be the survival of a species, the start a new dawn having learnt a lot from past mistakes. Rest assured we will remain on Mars for an exceptionally long time to get to a point to jet off to another planet.

Just Another Day

 

                             DIARY OF A CAMERA HIRE BUSINESS

 

8^th December 2010

First email of the morning – “I’d like to hire some camera equipment, picking up on Christmas Day.”  The audacity kills me.

 

15^th July 2011

A customer has rocked up at the front door of the home office at 7:30pm.  I’ve got my baby on my hip, trying to cook dinner.  We closed at 5pm and this guy has walked straight past the closed sign, through the closed gate, up the stairs to the back door and wants to pick up camera gear. I am so, so angry.   But what did I do?  I gave him his camera gear. Why don’t I have a spine to tell these people they are totally out of bounds?

 

31^st August 2011

Well, I wasted the best part of today dealing with another company that, rather than start their own company, decided that they would copy mine. Same colour scheme, same name – bar three letters different, cut and pasted my entire website INCLUDING MY ADDRESS in their FAQ section!  And there is nothing I can do about it.

 

1^st September 2011

Just received an email from a hirer who claimed that the last time he hired a lens (in March), it happened to rain and so he couldn’t use it. This is news to me – he never mentioned this at the time, not that it would have made any difference. Now he wants that hire as a credit so that he could hire again this weekend for free.  You have got to be kidding mate – if it rained, take it up with God.

 

21^st September 2011

I made the mistake of answering the phone at 5:15pm. 

“Hi, yes, I’m a professional photographer and I just have a few questions for you. When a lens says seventy dash two hundred, what does that exactly mean? How far would I have to stand away from something with that lens?”

I’m astounded. Firstly, no one ever states they are a professional photographer if they are, in fact, a professional photographer.

Secondly, I wouldn’t even have been answering the phone at 5:15 except a hirer made a huge song and dance about me staying back half an hour so he could pick up a lighting kit.  So, I answered the phone in case it was him.  To add insult to injury, the guy didn’t even pick up.  He completely no showed and left me sitting here.  Not even a phone call to say, “sorry, don’t worry about it.”

It’s ok. It’s not like I have a baby sitting at day care waiting for me!

June 10, 2012

Phone call – “What is the best camera and lens to shoot a movie with?”  I’m a bit stunned and suggest that you don’t just shoot a movie with one camera or one lens etc.  So, they explain that they actually mean they want to BOOTLEG a movie at the cinema and sell it on the black market so it has to be really good quality.

 

15 November 2012

Phone call – photographer is on the beach with her clients. “I’m taking photos with the lens you hired me but they’re all white”.

“Umm.  What settings are you shooting with?”

Her – “Settings?”

Lord help me.

 

February 2, 2014

A guy walks in with a padded case and some accessories for a Nikon flash.  Turns out that he hired the flash in 2011 and lost the accessories for it. He was billed to replace them and paid that bill.  He’s now moving house and came across the accessories that he lost. So he drove all the way from the Gold Coast to return them because he thought I would refund the money he paid 3 years ago.

I laughed really hard. And then realised he wasn’t joking.

 

4^th March 2014

I have a hirer named --------. He is a well-known and successful commercial photographer who was, in his eyes, burned by his ex-wife and now hates women with a passion. I’m sure it pains him greatly to have to hire gear from me, but he occasionally does. He also does no-shows for as many bookings as he picks up.

He emailed to pick up a Canon 35mm lens and when he collected it, said he was in a hurry and didn’t have his wallet on him. He assured me that he would pay on return.

A week later and his administrative assistant returns the lens and looks at me wide-eyed that there is a balance to pay. She claims to know nothing of paying for the lens and asks if I could send him an invoice. I tell her that’s not how our business is set up, we are a cash-based business and don’t offer accounts. I can see that I’m not going to get anywhere with her so I say that I will issue an invoice, but this is a one off.

Shockingly, he never pays the invoice. Despite being reminded on several occasions both in email and over the phone, he ignores my request to have the bill settled.

Six months go past, and I send the debt to my debt collection team where a $300 default and administration charge is added to the total.

 

He explodes. He starts a tirade of abuse against me, still refusing to pay the invoice in full. He would tell anyone that would listen that it was my fault that the invoice wasn’t paid and that he’d tried to pay it and I’d refused to take the payment. Murmurings would filter back to me about how I would live to regret going up against him.

It went quiet for a while.  In 2018, he asks me about hiring another lens. Just out of the blue, like nothing has happened. I replied that after our previous business dealings, I wanted nothing further to do with him and he might like to hire from my competitors instead.

He decided to “make me pay” for not bowing down in front of him and being grateful for his business.  He embarked on a two-month online tirade, attempting to shut down my business. He would persuade his friends to leave me one-star Google reviews; he would contact my hirers directly and discredit me, advising them not to hire from me anymore. He would publish our correspondence and previous emails online. He would convince his friends to make bogus hires with me and make inquiries asking me questions in an attempt to trip me up, and those friends would then report back to their online community about how stupid I was.

I was absolutely furious. As a business owner, it’s my right to choose not to do business with someone, and in this instance I was exercising my right. He clearly is not used to being told ‘no’.

I made an appointment with a local solicitor and a “Cease and Desist” letter was drawn up.

He then published that letter publicly online and continued to turn the local commercial photographers against me.

What this shows me is that men have a real issue with successful women. There was no way he was going to take this quietly and admit that he caused me six months of debt collection last time we did business. Why would I hire to him again?

But instead of acknowledging that (and if he had I may very well have hired to him again) he did as much as he could to put me out of business.

What he can now shove up his ass is that I kept my head up high, continued to run the company like every other day of my life, giving exceptional service to the photographers of Brisbane and my income didn’t drop a single dollar despite his best efforts.

 

15^th December 2014.

I missed a phone call and phoned the number back.

“It’s Susan here from Brisbane Camera Hire. I’m returning a call to this number.”

“Brisbane Camper Hire?  Oh ok.”

“No, no, no, Brisbane Camera Hire.”

“Hold on.”  Receptionist places phone on desk and spends the next 5 minutes screaming out to her workmates -
“DID ANYONE CALL BRISBANE CAMPER HIRE?  CAMPER HIRE ANYONE? I’VE GOT A LADY ON THE PHONE FROM BRISBANE CAMPER HIRE”.

I hung up.

2 August 2015

Text received on office mobile – “What is the best camera for picher taking?”

The next day I decommissioned the mobile phone and switched to a landline.

 

28 September 2015

Just had a guy pick up a camera and a lens he had hired. He explained that he was shooting a twenty first birthday party that night. He handed me the camera and says, “So can you just put in the right settings for a party?”

Ohhh dude.  It doesn’t work that way.

 

6 October 2015

Phone call – “Of these cameras, which one has the biggest SIM card?”

I really wanted to ask if he was making national or international calls with it.

 

12^th November 2015

A lady came in five minutes before close to pick up a flash.

“So I’ve got a wedding this weekend until 10pm and I’ve never shot with a flash before. Do I just stick this on top of the camera and it’ll just do what it needs to do?”

… Umm. Sure.

 

30 September 2016

First email of the day…

“So, I’ve taken on a job to shoot an editorial for a furniture designer.  I have an 1100D*.  What do I need to shoot this job?”

*  An 1100D is an extremely entry level camera.

What do you need?  You need to not take on jobs that you have no idea to shoot, that’s what. As much as I wanted to say this, I simply defaulted to my standard response, which was sending over an eight page, highly complex, itemised price list of all of my inventory and asking her to have a look and let me know.

Not surprisingly, there was no reply.

 

7 October 2016

Phone call – “Hi, yes, I need a camera that can take really good, clear images of a motorbike please.”

I wanted to tell him that all of my motorbike cameras were hired out already.

 

Next phone call.  A woman who was currently AT A WEDDING, asking to be walked through, step by step, how to open the battery door on a flash. There is no secret to this. You slide the door open in the direction of the arrows printed on it, much like replacing batteries on literally anything that takes batteries.

God help the bride and groom if this is the level of photography knowledge we are working with.

 

October 19, 2016

Had a walk in today, and I honestly thought he was having trouble locating the TAB, which is a few shops further down. He asks me if I shoot portraits and I said not so much anymore but that I could refer him to my friend, Sandra.

Ten minutes later and Sandra rings demanding to know why the fuck I gave her number to a dude who wants to shoot a porno session with his girlfriend.

 

21^st November 2016

My first customer return of the day, returning a Nikon 14-24m lens –

“You didn’t tell me this is a Manual Focus only Lens.”

“It’s not.”

“Well it only works in manual focus.”

“You have the lens switch on Manual.”

“Oh”

After today I realised I can no longer be trusted to keep alcohol in the work fridge.

 

29^th November 2016

The first email of the day.

“I want a camera and lens to shoot a band, like the attached iPhone photo. Please advise what I would need, to take a shot just like that.”

Me – “I would suggest an iPhone.”

 

1^st December 2016

A lady came into the store to hire a lens.

“I have a problem with my lens – I accidentally knocked it against a table and now it doesn’t zoom anymore.”

“Oh bummer!  Which lens was it?”

“The 50mm prime.”

I don’t know what to say.

 

1^st December 2017

A terrifying looking dude with face tattoos opens the shop door:

“So do you hire cameras, or do you take photos?”

“I can help you with both. What do you need?”

“I need photos of my sexy ass”

I’m so glad I am here for everyone’s entertainment.

 

15^th September 2019.

Phone call from a large hotel chain – “So if we accidentally break a lens or something on hire, would you refund us for that because, obviously, we wouldn’t be able to use it.”

I declined the hire.

 

8^th October 2019

Myself and one of my staff (male), were working together today as it was a long weekend and plenty of hires were going out.

We had a lens booked out to a photographer named Matthew -----------.  He had rented only once before in 2016 and I didn’t know him personally.

He came into collect his hire and as my staff member was helping another customer I served him. Matthew was about to leave when he turned to me and said, “Are you two fucking?”

Shocked, and assuming I misheard, I said, “I’m sorry, what?”

He repeated, “You two” and gestured towards my staff member and I before thrusting his hips in a fucking fashion.

Stunned and embarrassed I said, “Umm no, that’s my employee.”

Matthew laughed and left.

We both stared at each other, slack jawed. My other customer in the store says “What was all that about?” and I was embarrassed to have to explain that I wasn’t sure what just happened.

Of course on Tuesday, I was working alone and was left to deal with Matthew’s return on my own. I had been dreading it all morning. Matthew prowled in and immediately walked to the “Staff Only” side of reception to place the lens in front of me on the desk.  I found this extremely intimidating. No other customer has ever walked to the other side of reception. The only reason for doing so would be for him to be doing the human equivalent of “cocking his leg all over me”.

He then settled himself into the bench in the reception area and continues, “I’m not the only one who thinks you two are fucking.”

Close to tears I just sit and stare at him. He continues, “I was chatting to Phil of ------ Studios at the wedding on Saturday and he thinks you guys are fucking too.”

“I don’t know what to say Matthew. I don’t know why anyone would think that, or why they would be talking about us behind our backs. I’m in a relationship, not that it’s anyone’s business.”

Matthew seemed to find it very amusing and after he left, I sat back and replayed the entire encounter over and over in my head.

How do normal people respond to situations like this? Do normal people even get into situations like this? Should I have just arced the up and yelled and screamed at him? Should I have demanded he get out of my shop?

I thought about it for days and days before deciding, to hell with this, I’m complaining.

I logged onto the Australian Institute of Professional Photographers Website and downloaded the professional misconduct complaint form. I filled out all of the details of our two encounters, plus a witness statement from my other hirer that was present that day.

The AIPP responded, letting me know they have the issue tabled for their next meeting.  The meeting was held and the council were appalled. Matthew was contacted and asked to issue me with a written apology. Six month’s later no apology had been received, so the AIPP contacted Matthew again.

After a further month I received an email from the AIPP Compliance team. They advised that rather than sending me an apology for his serious lack of judgement in his behaviour towards me, Matthew instead resigned from his membership with the AIPP.

He would rather resign from the leading professional body in the industry in which he works full time, than send an apology.”

I was absolutely fuming. I felt so disrespected. I can’t make someone apologise to me, but I must give off this air about me that indicates that it’s okay to treat me like this. It happens over and over again.

I immediately logged onto his website and Instagram making very sure that any mention of him being an Accredited AIPP Photographer were gone.

 

22^nd July 2020

Sitting at the office and my phone buzzes a notification from Instagram.

It’s a message to me via Instagram.

“Hey! Is this still Susan?”

“Now that is a name from the past!  It’s still me, yes!”

The message was from a photographer named Jake who used to hire a lot but moved to London in 2017.

“What are you up to?!” He asks me excitedly.

“I’m still here!  Looking after my hire business and running a studio on-site now too. It’s keeping me pretty busy. You moved away, didn’t you?”

“That’s amazing!  You deserve to do well!  I’m still in London. I’m not gonna lie, I was wondering if you enjoyed playing a bit? Like some dirty words or whatever – you can choose.”

I frowned at the screen.

“Playing?” I asked.  I wasn’t following what he was asking me.  Because I’m stupid, and I expect too much from people.

“Yeah, like exchanging messages. Say no if you’re not into it, it’s cool.”

“What do you mean? I’m not sure that I follow.” By this point, I am pretty sure that this isn’t going to be a professional message exchange, but I want this guy to articulate it.  Spell it out for me.

“Sorry if I got you at a weird time! I always thought you were attractive, not gonna lie. When I’d pick gear up and you were there or whatever. Haha.  I sound stupid, sorry.  Ignore me. Do you have a private profile I should hit up?”

“I’m not sure what you’re trying to say.”  SAY IT JAKE.

“What are you doing right now? Do you have some spare time to get nude?”

And there it was.

 

21 August 2020

Today’s phone call:

“Yeah, I’m from a social media marketing company and we need to film sixty, one to two minute videos. How do we do that?”

Me – “Do what, specifically?”

“All of it. We’ve never used a camera before.”

 

24 August 2020

Phone call –

“So if we hire the EF200 constant lights on your price list – is it possible to set them on fire?”

 

25 August 2020

Email –

“What is the best lens for shooting a model on the beach.  And settings please.  Send sample photos taken with the lens and how much for one day.”

 

31^st August 2020

First phone call of the day was a completely bogan sounding woman who wants a camera that can “shoot in the dark” plus a lens that “extends a long way”.  She agrees that she has never used a camera before and wouldn’t know how to use it to achieve the results she wants, but hopes that I can help her with that.   She also needs to learn it all and get the shots by the following morning as she’s on a “court deadline” to supply evidence.

I declined the hire.

 

31^st August 2020

Received an inquiry for a camera, 400mm lens, plus gimbal.

Declined the hire.

 

2^nd September 2020

The phone lines at the office are down and I’m having to contact hirers on my personal mobile WHICH I ABSOLUTELY HATE. People totally abuse this power and they feel like now they have a permanent direct line straight to you and will never use the normal channels again. So now a hirer named T----------- has my mobile number and starts texting me photos of his big-rig.  Thank God this isn’t a code name for “dick”, it’s actually his truck. I decide to not reply to the message as I don’t want to encourage him one bit.

He comes to collect his hire and has the audacity to say to me, “Now that I have your mobile number, I’ve fully stalked you online hey. There are so many photos of you online, do you know that? There’s even photos of you holding a baby.”

I’m just looking at him stunned because who says that to someone? Who says that to a woman, working alone in an office?

 

7^th September 2020

I hired the studio to a team of “creative geniuses” (self described), behind sixty one TV commercials and representing clients such as You Tube and Dulux. They demanded a pink backdrop in the studio, which isn’t a standard inclusion, but I brought my own personal backdrop from home for them to use, free of charge. I’m watching them on the security cameras as they roll out 6 meters of my pink backdrop (half the roll) instead of the 2 meters that would have been more than ample. I can feel the fury wanting to explode from behind my eyes.

They then decide to turn all of the lights off including the lights on the panel that say “Front Office, Do Not Touch” and plunge me into darkness.

I go back to the studio and ask them to please not turn off my lights. They take this opportunity to say, “Something is wrong with these soft boxes, half my photos are black.” He shows me his screen and God knows what his shutter speed was. “Yep, you’re shooting above flash sync speed.” I replied. He looks at me like I’m speaking Spanish.

Later on, the “model” comes out and says, “My mate has a brand-new camera and he doesn’t know how to use it – are you any good with Sony cameras?” I said no. He says “The photos of me jumping in the air are all blurry and my skin is super red.”

I’m stunned.  The studio rents out for $65 an hour and DOES NOT come with my ten years of experience.

So, I just claim to be the receptionist and that I can’t assist them with their technical problems. Sometimes it’s just easier this way.

 

8^th September 2020

Email – “I’m shooting some real estate and I want a recommendation for a lens that will make my photos look special.”

 

10 September 2020

Phone call – “Yeah, I want to hire a telescope”

 

11 September 2020

A hirer who has been in the industry a long time, rented a wide angle lens to shoot an apartment. She rings an hour later to complain that the lens isn’t sharp. After much questioning, I discover she is shooting at f/2.8. She seems stunned that you can shoot at a higher aperture. This woman has been in the industry ten plus years.

 

15 September 2020

Had a courier collect a box from a hair salon in New Farm. The courier rang to say they could not complete the pick up. I ring the hirer and he says that the driver wouldn’t take the goods. After much back and forth between hirer and courier, turns out the hirer had binned the box, packaging and return address label and tried to hand an LED light panel to a courier driver who had no idea where it was supposed to be delivered to.

I ring the hirer back and semi-explode – “Why would you throw away all of the packaging and address label? Do you think the courier driver has psychic abilities?”

The hirer tells me to “lose my attitude”

I am shocked that I’m not an alcoholic.

 

16^th September 2020

Studio hire inquiry – “What kind of lighting would we need for a photo shoot?”

 

16th September 2020

Social media marketing company are in the studio today. Their videography team came to get me to ask me to set up their whole lighting design for them because “they’re not good with that”.

I declined.  They were made aware that they can hire a lighting designer for $100 an hour and they said no.  They don’t then get me to do it for free.

 

16^th September 2020 (must have been one of those days)!

“If I rent the studio, does that come with SD cards for my camera?”

 

17^th September 2020

A person calls my personal number, during work hours mind you, when I am available on the office phone. He’s calling from his job for which he has not hired anything from me. He’s in the middle of a live streaming job asking me how to connect his cameras to the switcher.

There’s that audacity again.

 

18^th September 2020

So, T----------  comes in today to hire some items (the guy who openly confessed to stalking me online). He says to me, “If I tell you something, will you promise not to tell anyone else?”

I’m like whatever; I don’t really give a shit at this point.

He then tells me that he’s an infamous armed robber from the mid-1990’s Apparently, he only stayed ahead of the cops because he was dating a girl who worked in police headquarters and used to tip him off.  Plot twist – I USED TO WORK WITH THE SAME GIRL AT ANOTHER GOVERNMENT DEPARTMENT.

Anyways, he also claims that he has shot 6 people and killed 2 of them and he finally gave himself up in Goondiwindi at the Post office.  Apparently, he was in custody for 2 years and the cops only ever had enough evidence for one of the robberies, so the judge told them they had to drop the rest because it was taking so long. So, he went to jail for three years for the one armed robbery of a service station.

I’m sitting at my desk, shaking my head, that this guy would be so deranged to think it is ok to tell me this stuff.

I spent the rest of the week Googling him but I couldn’t find any reports of any of it so I have no idea if he’s full of shit or not.

 

18^th September 2020

I agree to let 2 influencers use the studio for free for 2 hours in exchange for tagging the studio on Instagram.  She tells me it will be herself (the photographer) and 2 influencers, shooting their clothing range.

What it actually was: was herself, 2 influencers, 4 other adults and 9 children. The kids were running absolutely wild, while their parents took duck-faced selfies. The kids were running up and down the cyc like it was a skate board ramp – and this is NOT A LOAD BEARING WALL, while I sat at reception bawling my eyes out watching them on the cameras. The kids were turning all the lights on and off, pressing all the buttons on the electronic door lock, turning the air con on and off. I really wish I had just asked them to leave as soon as I realised that this was not what I had agreed to.  It wasn’t even COVID safe.

At the end of the 2 hours, I checked the cameras again and they had left.  They had done a runner. They did not say thank you or apologise for the noise or the damage. I ended up staying back an hour after work, clearing out 5 garbage bags of rubbish from the studio, sobbing my heart out and wanting to just leave the keys in the back door and walk away.

 

9^th October 2020

A new hirer asked to have a camera and lens couriered to the Sunshine Coast for a wedding. He was extremely specific in stating that the gear must be delivered prior to 10am on the Friday.

With couriering being a nightmare at the best of times, and now with delivery times no longer guaranteed during COVID, I finally found a courier who could get the gear to him in a timely fashion.

The delivery address was the groom’s parents’ house (which I didn’t know until later).

The items were dispatched.

On delivery day, I arrive to the office to an email from the photographer. He then berated me for the courier arriving too early and that he asked it to arrive at 10am, not at 8am as it did actually arrive.  I’m dumbfounded, because the courier doesn’t arrive at a time. It’s not like they’re sitting out on the road waiting for 10am for you. I had it delivered before the deadline.

Apparently, he never told the groom’s parents that the box was arriving so when the courier tried to give them a box with a name on it they didn’t recognise, they refused to take it.

The hirer then had the audacity to ask “So where do we stand on you getting me that gear today.”

I got you the gear on time, the rest is on you.

 

12^th October 2020

A first-time hirer returned a camera and lens this morning claiming that they “don’t work”.

Upon inspecting the items, I noticed considerable damage around the lens mount.

I pointed this out to the hirer who denied having any idea where the damage came from.

From what it looks like to me, the photographer couldn’t get the lens off (which is uncoupled via a simple button press and twist), and instead, tried to lever it off using a screwdriver.

The items were sent to repair and the bill forwarded to the hirer, who is still claiming they don’t know how the damage occurred.

 

22^nd September 2020

Took a phone call from a lady who was quoted $125 by her real estate agent for images of her apartment that she’s selling.  Just so you know, THAT’S A BARGAIN. But she arc’ed up and said that was outrageous - $125 for 10 photos!  So instead, she wanted to rent the lens that the professional would have used to get those photos, so she could do it herself.

Bear in mind, the hire fee on the lens she needed was $90, and I pointed this out, but she still reasoned that this was a better deal because she could take a hundred photos then. I’m like, ok you don’t need a hundred photos of a 2 bedroom apartment but whatever.

So she comes in, hires the lens. Calls me about an hour later and has kicked over her own tripod and smashed both her camera and my lens. As much as I was out of my mind irate that she had damaged my lens which ended up then being in repair for eight weeks, part of me knew this was exactly the karma she had coming for her. In the end, she had to pay for the repair of my lens which was $1200, plus the repair to her camera. Maybe now she realises that she should have just paid that ridiculously cheap price to the professional.

16^th August 2022

"I'll be there right as you close" (which is 5pm)

"I'm just stuck in some traffic and won't be there until 5:30 at least"

"It's a hundred bucks for me to stay"

Shoot starts at 5am on the Gold Coast. What choice does he have?

On collecting he said “I’ll pay $100 for you staying open and you tell your boss that money is for you personally”.

Much as I would have loved to tell him I AM THE BOSS, just took the $100!

The Epilogue for Planet Earth.

 

                                   

 Epilogue for Planet Earth

 We are now discussing the demise of our home, a planet called Earth. I have written before in the scheme of things, at our early stage of development we are not unlike an Ants Nest on the edge of a ten-line highway.

We are just another planet circling trillions of stars throughout the solar systems. There is nothing special about us. Many nondescript planetary worlds have been born; many have died. Other planets like ours have ceased to exist because of disease, war, and pestilence, or passed their use-by date, we are nothing special, we like to think we are. 

Those intelligences that have survived and are travelling the galaxies are the ones that are visiting us and who saw the dangers early. Our little blue/green nondescript planet trapped in the outer whorl of a minor galaxy I repeat is nothing special. If the same intelligences that we refer to as Aliens realised very early on in the peace millions of years ago the dangers that exist for their survival, then they would have planned to move to a new home. 

I am not going to discuss numbers of Planets and Galaxies because the numbers are meaningless to us.

But we think life on this planet is eternal, it is not, not if we continue to overpopulate it and if we continue to contaminate the oceans, pour greenhouse gases into the atmosphere thus warming the planet, lay waste to the forests to build more apartments to house the huge numbers, then our demise is a matter of time. The numbers that this planet can sustain is finite.

I am going to proffer a hypothesis. Just supposing the ‘little green men from outer space’ who have been watching us since we emerged as a distinct species and maybe shaped who we are, can see the dangers we have created for ourselves, and have stepped in to save us from ourselves, and introduced the Covid virus. 

Being ingenious people, we developed the antidote Alpha and we called it the A variant, the visitors introduced another more virulent virus, the Beta variant then the Gamma then the Delta Variant, we have managed to keep up, and at moment we are settled on the Omicron variant.

Now they, the visitors are not here to wipe us out but to save us from ourselves, and what will end life on earth is overpopulation because the planet cannot sustain the numbers. Now the numbers that will need to survive for us to continue as a species after escaping to another planet need only be in double figures.

Of course, I do have reservations like everyone else, and being a practical person, I realize the involvement in the physical act of procreation and sunbaking are the only two past times I can think of quickly off the top of my head that are truly enjoyable and free, but we must keep a sense of proportion, it is a stark choice, fun times or face the death of the Planet earth through overpopulation.

Let’s us look closer at the population numbers. In 1950 the population of this planet was about 2.5 billion approx. In 2000 it was 6.01billion. In 2020 7.79 billion. By the year 2050 the figure is estimated to be close to 10. billion. The current world population is approx 8 billion Still with me? These figures are rising exponentially, the resources of this planet cannot continue to sustain increasing population figures forever. 

We can try and stay one step ahead, that’s all. So, take a guess, what is the world population sustainable limit, 10 billion, 20 billion? There IS a limit and by then hopefully there will be a small colony established on Mars.

On Wikipedia the question asked is what is the maximum population the Earth can sustain?

The answer was, “If Australians want to continue living as we do without making any changes, and as a planet we want to meet our footprint, then the number of humans Earth can sustain long term is around 1.9 billion people, which was roughly the global population 100 years ago in 1919”.

I have made this observation before. Why is the question never asked? Why is it WE are the only species on this planet, the only ‘collective group’ be it animal, fish, bird, or insect that are totally different from one another, Why?

Why are humans, one of about 300 primates on this planet all so totally different to each other, more importantly why that question is never asked, we differ in skin colour from deep black to pale white, our noses, eyes, lips, skull shapes are all different, there are also skeletal differences? The answer is if it was proved it would negate religion. A superstitious belief system that has held awe and created some sort of order since time began.

 Ignoring Mosques, we have built 33 million churches to pray to a non-existent person. A person who might have existed back in “biblical times”, a travelling evangelist, who gained quite a number of followers, he was arrested with some of his cohorts and crucified.

Now it was not the manner of his death that made him famous as crucifixion was a popular punishment at the time, but it was that his dad dug him up, but he is revered to this very day, and no-one alive has ever seen him.

To continue. Our nearest neighbour Mars is the nearest planet to colonise, a colony is going to take time to establish as its planetary biology is not the same as ours, by a long way. We are at present being bombarded by clues. The news reader says today it should have snowed in Greenland, but instead it rained. The world’s temperatures had increased since 1.5 degrees since pre-industrial levels through the burning of fossil fuels and farming. driven by human-induced emissions of greenhouse gases and the resulting large-scale shifts in weather patterns.

Another commentator said if care is not taken the Australian Great Barrier Reef within the next 3 years it will suffer irreversible damage. Every day we hear of fires in America, Europe, China, and Australia of cyclones and floods worldwide. Here is a new one. The presenter reported there is concern there will a lack of water in the future, and so it goes on.

The is some concern when a group of young people protesting of Global Warming outside the local town hall and the police broke the protest up. The way to go. We know the planet is warming but more information should be concentrated on WHY? It starts with overpopulation. To sustain human existence on this planet housing and agriculture and infrastructure must match the ever- growing numbers.

But for the high rollers that could help with global warming they will ignore this coming catastrophe, you see it affects their bottom line.

As the numbers increase, we will find water is scarce. We are running out of housing, so we build high rise apartments and the block that housed one house and one family is now housing hundreds. Their apartments must have electrical power, so more coal is produced to provide the power. The millions of cars on our roads must be fueled, the side effects of burning fossil are rarely spoken about. So, it’s the air we breathe that suffers and much more.

It continues until it is realised that there is a use-by date for the Planet, and I suspect is somewhere around 2045.The population numbers are increasing, they never decrease. The people who control this Planet know this but realise there is nothing they can do to halt the inevitable

Now this is interesting, 2050 is the year the planet is hoping to achieve a carbon neutral state. Firstly 2050 is far too late, the chances are exacerbated when three of the world’s largest countries, Russia, India and China will not be gracing the Glasgow global warming summit anyhow.  I could suggest if the world freewheeled with the levels of carbon we enjoy right now, there is no certainty that we will even reach the planet’s use-by date of 2045.

So, a new catch cry is put forward ‘The Race for Mars’ It could be our lifeboat but the numbers to populate it would be minimal, and as I have written before a place will be by  invitation only. The numbers on Planet Earth cannot be saved but a small planet like Mars as a lifeboat to house the worlds cleverest can then branch out to search for a new world that reaches into the far unknown.

I read that the world’s number of cars that are pouring toxic fumes into the atmosphere is around 1.4 billion, that figure is changing by the minute, increasing but not decreasing. The number of cars that are operated by conventional means vastly outnumber those that are powered by electricity. I would not like to estimate how long it would take to change all the cars on this planet to fully solar powered, meanwhile they are all pouring toxic fumes into the atmosphere, changing now won’t save the planet.

A commentator on the TV this morning said South-east Queensland will not have enough drinking water to support its rapidly growing population amid fears the region’s dams will struggle to supply millions of extra residents. I am sure you have read the news of the massive oil spill off the coast of America.

The rain in Madagascar has not arrived for the last two years, so there were no crops to cultivate and there has been an acute lack of drinking water.

Another commentator said If we do not address Global Warming by 2050 it might be too late. I said to myself “hello that’s our use-by date” For a sobering thought on this subject read Wikipedia’s report on Global Warming. It is a long read.        6/7/ 2021