If you have nothing to hide you have nothing to fear.

If you have nothing to hide you have nothing to fear.

The chief Constable of Kent Dharmsward Khan has ordered another 200 CCTV cameras to be installed along the Pantiles in Tunbridge Wells to monitor the unruly behaviour of young immigrant persons of colour.

He told the Tunbridge Wells Mercury reporter that it might appear big brother is watching but pointed out with apparent disinterest and a cursory glance at his watch “if you have nothing to hide you have nothing to fear”.

The reporter who has since been sacked from his job on the Newspaper questioned how does a situation like placing CCTV cameras looking at the more furry extremities of Mrs Khan during sex fit in with his view that if one has nothing to hide then one has nothing to fear as the cameras roll to record the final tense stages leading up to coitus interruptus when Mrs Khan is faced with a critical decision one way or the other how immediate this interruptus might have to occur".

The reporter also pointed out that a frivolous, careless, decision made by Mrs Khan might be a decision she might rue for the next nine months….and beyond. The Chief Constable visibly irritated  spitefully hissed “that is a totally different matter”. The reporter persisted and I suspect it was this second question that landed him squarely as one of the Britain’s recently unemployed

Like a little terrier who had just got his teeth into flesh he inquired of the Chief Constable “Sir, sir  by the same token wot if CCTV cameras were placed in your toilet and Mrs Khan was about to unload the curry from the previous night surely it should be quite acceptable to monitor her  movements if she had nothing to hide?”  He fumed red with rage; sorry he went into a black rage and rang the Mercury editor. 

But the reporter had a valid point didn’t he. Surely cameras recording his wife’s privates during intercourse are surely impinging into her private space as do the Pantiles cameras might to a person of the peasant classes.

You see where I am coming from here? We are being listened to and in many cases watched. The Americans denied hacking Chinese computers as did the Chinese deny hacking American computers. Along came Edward Snowden who blew the whistle on America with proof they had been listening to everyone even their own people as did the Chinese.

The Australians have got into a lot of hot water recently with the Indonesian Government who found out they were being spied on by the Australians I assume at the behest of the CIA, and so it goes on. The Australian prime minister whose name escapes me for the moment said that Indonesia had been spying on Australia and their PM refused to apologise as another 200 asylum boats in Flotilla form left Indonesia for the top end of Australia under the watchful eye of the Australian equipped Indonesian navy.

If you would like a bit of fun on a wet Saturday afternoon try this. I suppose it comes under the classification of Lawful Rebellion. You arrange with say five of your mates to send five figure groups of letters and numbers in Email form. 

GCHQ would wet themselves being unable to crack the code and strongly suspect it is an al Qaida group operating out of South Park, Reigate. An urgent meeting is called with the threat of heads rolling if there is no breakthrough. 

You see Enigma was always going to be eventually cracked as it is a code made by a mechanical device. The same can be said of code by an Electronic device. Random five figure code groups are never going to be cracked because they are not electronic or mechanical, particularly the ones I am suggesting as they do not make any sense either, as they are thought up on the spot. What is important that the people at CCHQ are kept busy?

I was told, but of course it may be an internet myth that we can be spied on via our Skype camera, now I am not one to be lightly spooked but I have a piece of paper covering my Skype camera all the time I am not on Skype. 

My friend is terrified when I broach the subject of Nationalism on Skype, he is convinced we are being watched or listened to. I am aware my phone can be intercepted along with Emails, Post and Skype. 

This is one of the spin offs of being part of a rich, vibrant Multi-culture. It was not in vogue in the early thirties I can assure you, I was there.

All characters or events appearing in this article are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental