Saturday 9 September 2017

Don't Knock it until you've tried it.


I talk to  Rainbows

Ever mindful of the old adage ‘don’t knock it until you’ve tried it’ I invited Phaedra over to our place to try out this same sex thingy. Anyways were just about to get started when mother burst in and cried out “I will not tolerate this sort of thing in my house thank you very much” and ordered Phaedra to put her clothes back on and leave. I felt so sorry for Phaedra as we had hardly got started.

I was devastated to hear that Tamzin and Tiffany’s same sex marriage thingy had broken up. They had only been married for a couple of weeks and are already filing for divorce. Tamzin confided in me that she has never been able to stand Tiffany anyways; she said she is not interested in this same sex thingy; all she wants to do is lie on her back and eat Maltesers. I was so mad I demanded my wedding present back. It was a water squirty thingy for dampening clothes when ironing stuff.

I decided to get this same sex thingy off the ground in earnest so I invited Phaedra, Tamzin, Charlotte, Sarah, Grace, Elspeth, Rebecca, Patience the two Welsh girls Blodwyn and Myfanwy over, Oh Rebecca changed her mind she couldn’t come she was worried about being labelled a Les Bean. Anyways we all took our clothes off and just as we were just about to start when mother burst in and cried out that she wanted to join in also. Mother is a disgusting woman,

Last night I invited Rhonda round to our place and so as not to confuse mother we decided to do it in the garden shed. Anyways we took our clothes off and were just about to start when Rhonda said “Shhh” well actually she used the S word. I said what’s the matter? She said she had left the torch outside of the shed. I went to open the shed door and found it locked. We banged and banged and banged on the door for ages and ages but to no avail so we put our clothes back on because it was like getting really cold and waited until morning when the neighbour heard us banging and let us out.

I really don’t know whether to persevere with this same sex thingy or not……

Courtesy of Ms Bridgette