Monday, 24 July 2017

The Way We Were .



The Way We Were  

It was back in the 50’s in Redhill. Surrey and for six years I used to go out with the girl next door, I lived at number 7 she lived at number 5. She told me her name was Evie, Evie Widden and I had absolutely no reason to disbelieve her. 

She was always clad in a thick fair Isle jumper and a duffel coat and sometimes a beanie, I wondered if she went to bed dressed like that which gave rise to lingering doubts if it were possible I had been keeping company with a young man for six years which in retrospect could account for her parents apparent unease whenever I came to collect their teenager no doubt wondering why I wanted to take their son out to the movies or to go for a walk over the common, confirming the unease was nothing to do with my non-existent roué reputation with opposite sex. The mistake was highly possible as there was none of THAT between myself and Evie thank you very much.

Times have indeed changed. We live in a Rainbow world, societally and sexually. In the 50’s one might have spoken about free love. I was led to believe there was a lot of it being thrown about but certainly not in my direction nor had I had ever been invited to partake group-wise, but in any case it was definitely not the delights of the flesh shared equally by Evie and myself…… or Nathan if that was his/her name.

Sodom and Gomorrah was talked about incessantly from the pulpit on Sundays by Pastor Dickie but certainly none of my friends were physically Sodoming OR Gomorrahring anyone or anything even in the privacy of their own home, well not that I was aware of. 

Aids were certainly discussed and these supports I speak of were a boon for people with a limp or whose eye sight was failing or who were going deaf;I would rather not discuss teeth if you don't mind.

Now about Marriage. Evie or Nathan did bring it up once but I could not have afforded to keep a pet Rabbit or a Hamster on my wages let alone a wife or partner so it was a non- issue. If I were to fast forward, well the figure I would like to fast forward from I would keep to myself if you dont mind. 

It would now be acceptable for me to ask Nathans parents if I could marry their son. No questions would be asked as who was going to do what to who and how. 

It was tacit thing if you understand me, like you know instinctively what to do when you get on a bike, does that make any sense?

Today Homothingy is not only acceptable but actively encouraged. Personally I think it is a total waste of time and a waste of effort for the male’s reproductive thingy and in the case of the Ladies a criminal disregard for the purpose of her eggs.

There are clubs, street parades; queer Police Associations, perplexing Politicians in Westminster pushing for their inclusiveness in all aspects of life, and queer representatives pushing for the age of consent for boys be dropped to thirteen or is it nine? They even have their own Rainbow flag. Call someone a Queer and you could end up in an Austrian jail for a hate crime and possibly water-boarded by the jailors for a bit of light relief.

Today being straight could put one at a distinct disadvantage, similar to being white and applying for social housing or a free university place. So where are we heading I hear you ask?

Is there a limit, alternatively is there no limit? There were limits years ago. I remember them and Evie…. or whatever he/she was and I respected them. Cougars for instance I knew as Puma-like animals that roamed the plains of America not mature ladies who walked in the shadows of the streets of Droitwich or Crawley or advertised on dating sites on the Internet. 

I thirst for the good ‘ole days when I could refer to the Nigger in the Woodpile or ask the shopkeeper if she stocked Gollywogs and no-one would be offended. I suppose because in those days people from Third World, that’s from North Africa and beyond were not living in my country telling me what I could and could not say and worse still our politicians agreeing with them.

So in 100 years in the future what will our society look like? I could be living in a reserve, like a living Museum and black people can come and look at me and take photos and throw bits of bread at me like I was an endangered species like a Panda. Or Vicky Verky my descendants could be wearing beards and wailing like Banshees from Minarets dotted around my country. 

Well anything is possible. There might be no such thing as an age of consent not if my bearded friends have anything to do with it, and the Anglo Saxon people’s history will consigned to dusty tomes in a Museum. Two comments by our moralistic past leaders:

David Cameron …’’I am proud of what this government has done on equal marriage”
Nick Clegg…………”Now is the time to make history and celebrate the arrival of equal marriage”

Well Cleggie have I got news for you. It is not equal because for starters the male reproductive ensemble in a traditional marriage is not put to the same use as in a homosexual marriage. No it is NOT equal or the same, but it just garners you both a few more votes.


His wife called him a Paedophile. He replied “that is a pretty big word for a 9 year old”.