BBC Sports and Stuff

BBC Sports and Stuff. 
(Written a while ago)

Mr Griffen is there any truth in the rumour your dogs are named Ann and Frank?

Most certainly not Mr Marr, and whilst we are on this subject, my two cats are not named Ribbentrop and Goering. I would also like to refute the rumour that each evening after dinner I dress up in a SS officer’s uniform complete with jackboots and march up and down our hallway with arm outstretched singing the Horst Wessel song.

Nor are we organizing concentration camps around the UK or advertising for camp musicians in the near future. I hope that clears the air and puts to rest once and for all any doubts in people’s minds that we are racist or have any Narnsey sympathies.

What is the British National Party’s attitude to asylum seekers?

Of course we are very concerned about the unending flood of asylum seekers, immigrants and refugees, so much so we hope in the future to house new immigrants in rural England. We hope to put to right disadvantaged towns such as Tring, Aylesbury and Tunbridge Wells who have so far missed out on the joys of cultural enrichment and vibrant ethnic diversity.

There are some beautiful villages in Bucks and Hampshire, and rural sleepy backwaters like Virginia Water, Windsor, Hadlow and Paddock Wood where we will also consider building vast new public housing estates and eventually opening up some of our National Trust properties for travellers and Gypsies and hopefully alleviate the overspill of African, Asian and Jamaican refugees in central London. We do not want to be seen as a racist party that discriminates against third world sanctuary seekers and who appear to make the indigenous Britons welfare a priority.

Mr Griffen another concern that was brought up recently at a meeting in Birmingham of the British Association of Asian Mayors is the amount of vacant accommodation across the length and breadth of the land.

That is certainly true that is why we will also be conducting an audit on some of our stately homes such as Penshurst Place and Chequers on that criminal waste of vacant accommodation.

Would the BNP welcome Roma Gypsies?

Yes, good question Mr Marr, An increasing concern is the number of Roma gypsies and their large families fleeing war torn Romania and Hungary, crossing safe havens such as Spain, France, Germany, Holland, Belgium, Italy, Sweden, Norway and Denmark with the intent of making landfall in the UK, a disturbing phenomenon that frankly has the UK authorities totally baffled. With these people 3 bedroom accommodation is not an option that is why we urgently need to investigate alternative placement in National Trust properties and as I stated earlier, stately British Homes and Castles.

Mr Griffen some people regards the BNP as a fascist and racist organization, how do you counter those accusations?

Mr Marr, I note it is YOUR ill-conceived concern that our policies are racist, and that is also a mischievous question your producer has added to your list of questions on your script board, but on the contrary those fears are quite groundless.

Mr Marr, you will be pleasantly surprised to hear we have earmarked your small hamlet where you and your family dwell for development on a massive public housing project similar to London’s Tower Hamlets, but twice as large. Promises of shared enrichment should not be seen as a token promise which rings with empty words, we must be seen to bring multiculturalism to ALL people of the UK, not to just a small cross section of the poor white population.

The BNP, I believe have a repatriation programme in mind.

Yes indeed we have. We will be encouraging dissatisfied refugees to return home; in fact we will be continuing the same programme initiated by the extreme far left Labour Government. Once we extricate ourselves from the Federation of European States the saving will be such that we will make the incentive to these people to leave our country and to return to their country of origin extremely generous, as opposed to the offer of ₤20 and a meal voucher offered by the extreme far left Labour government.

Thank you for your time Mr Griffen.

My pleasure.