The Woodstock Shagfest

The Woodstock Shagfest

                          

More than 2 Million Muslims gather for the Hajj in Saudi Arabia. The Hajj is seen as a chance to wipe clean past sins and start fresh. Yep you hear right. Christianity on the other had does not really have an equivalent, well not yet. Also I am are not aware if there are any sins that are not exempt like the decapitation of one’s fellow man or say drowning them in a cage slowly, like really slowly, but I only ask the questions.

On the first day of the Hajj, pilgrims walk around the Ka'bah seven times in an anti-clockwise direction while repeating prayers. Again I do not know if there is a penalty for walking around in a clockwise direction and why this is so important, but Allah seems to think so.

In a moment of reflection I have often thought Christians can organize a similar religious outing around Stonehenge or say the town Hall clock in Droitwich, which brings us the Woodstock.

Woodstock was all about love, and I will drink to that. Trouble was no one knew who was going to be loved at any one time. I was never invited to these love-ins but I have been told it was not unlike a huge Shag-fest and love was the driving theme driven by the hatred of wars particularly the one running currently at that time, the Vietnam War with more to follow, like lots of ‘em.

The Woodstock festival 1969 was a protest to pull soldiers from the Vietnam War, which was happening at that time. However, the main focus of the festival was aimed to support love, peace and freedom, but mainly LOVE …with anyone who happened to be standing around idly, minding their own business, ‘praps ‘aving a quiet fag.

About the Shag-fest; a couple of surviving witnesses say YES there were births at Woodstock. The concert's medical director told reporters at the scene there were two births: one at a local hospital after the mother was flown out by helicopter; the other in a car caught in the epic traffic jam outside the site crowded with more than 400,000 people but as yet no figures have been released for the number of births AFTER Woodstock for fear of causing panic, mayhem and uncertainty for future Woodstock’s which I imagine births could have run into at least double figures, who knows maybe hundreds….thousands?

Back to the Hajj. I would like to put this into some sort of intelligent perspective. I would like to start by saying we are what is referred to as an intelligent species. An Extra Terrestrial species visiting us might inquire how many Gods do we have and how many do we really NEED and more importantly why they are all different gods when they don’t have any, these are the intelligent species I refer to.

A person who will be pushed forward to answer this question will be a ‘professional religious person’ like the POPE and/or an Islamic person who answers the more difficult questions.

Now there are different rules for ladies and here I will cut and paste so I have my facts right.

An Islamic woman may take contraceptive pills to prevent her from menstruating during Hajj season in order to be able to perform Tawaf. Scholars vary in their opinion whether one should take Pills in Hajj to stop Menstruation or use any other means to prevent menstruation. Some are of the opinion that women can use pills to stop menses as long as it is not prohibited or hazardous to health. There are pills available in the drugstores if you want to stop periods during Hajj or delay periods during Hajj. However, for a better understanding of the matter, please consult a scholar. Also, make sure you use these pills only after consulting a doctor. I have not discovered who slid this regulation in but it has not found favour in Christian Churches as yet. Sorry cannot help you on the pills per se.

HANG ON LADIES DON’T GO AWAY

If the menses start after entering in the state of Ihram, it does not disturb the state of Ihram and the Ihram remains intact. A woman can relinquish Ihram only after completing all the rituals of Hajj including the ritual clipping of hair. However, she should stay at her hotel/ apartment in Makkah and should not enter Masjid-ul-Haram until she takes the bath of purification. She should continue to recite Talbiyah, Takbir, Tahlil, Istighfar, etc. but avoid reciting verses of the Holy Qur’an. After taking bath for purification, she should perform Umrah.

So there you go ladies, no need to go unprepared is there.

Ah, but this is more like it