Saturday, 21 January 2017

Bad Taste Television.


Warning
Consult your Psychiatrist for Correct Dosage.

It was while channel hopping on my 55 inch television when to my horror I was confronted by a sudden, disturbing scene of a Gentleman exhibiting his flaccid penis. There was a sharp intake of breath or was it an involuntary gasp from my wife. Not being fleet of foot I admit it was my fault I was unable to shield her eyes quickly enough from the offending scene. It was a program called ‘Embarrassing Bodies’’ My first thought being, is nothing sacred. These TV feasts are collectively known as Bad Taste Television.

These type of shows are becoming more and more common, and knowing Television has an insatiable appetite I wondered whether it was right and proper for me to contact the TV station/stations with more unusual ideas for new plots in the same series. In no time at all I had three programs planned and one in the pipeline. Tasteless Television I found does not take a great deal of thought or imagination.

The first bad taste concept concerns a lovely married couple Eugene and Francis; Sweethearts from their school days. It will be explained they took advantage of the referendum for Homosexual couples to demand to be recognized as husband and wife and given the same rights as a couple in a conventional marriage. Desperately wanting children but as a same sex couple were unable to achieve same due to not having the required carefully matched sexual equipment they were however able to apply for a  licence to import two small children after a ruling by the UN Court of Human Rights in the Hague.

The plot continues. The two lovers fly to some place in Africa, could be Gambia, hang on might be Sierra Leone and using a local intermediately promised he would find the couple a matched pair of small children. A sum is agreed upon and all that is left to do is to apply for an export licence. The beauty of this plot is it can be ongoing similar to the BBC series where the TV crew return every seven years and see how the two children are coping with discrimination, Homophobia, Bigotry and racist remarks.

The Bad Taste Television continues taking advantage of the plethora of building and restoration programs. Here the viewers are treated to a complete restoration and makeover of Auschwitz concentration camp. The camp will be demolished to make way for high rise apartments. Each apartment will boast a single reception room, bathroom, two bedrooms with ensuites, under floor heating and of course modern showers each with its own balcony, the complex will also boast a communal gym.

Some aesthetically pleasing original features will be retained and hopefully incorporated into the new apartments others removed like the greeting arch at the entrance reading “Arbeit Macht Frei” it will be replaced with a flashing coloured neon sign proclaiming ‘Dunroamin’ aptly named as most of the people in residence will be retirees. A country wide competition could be held to select a name for this new housing complex. As an act of respect  a marker will be placed at the entrance to the complex reminding visitors of the buildings original purpose. The small gauge railway line will be replaced and modified to merge with the main line linking it to the rest of the country.

Lastly an absolute gem of an idea for a series which could be regarded as the ‘Very Best of Tasteless TV’

It calls for four married couples, conventional couples I might add who have already decided they definitely do not want children, well not at this stage of their relationship anyway.. I visualize the title of this reality show being called “The Surprised Parent” It has been agreed before-hand the couples will be provided with free condoms for one year only.  Each week they talk about their relationship with each other, their hopes and fears for the future and their desire for one day perhaps have children.

Now what the couples do not know is a hole has been deliberately and carefully made in one of the condoms which will be given to one of the 4 couples regularly, even the production people do not know which contestants will be given the tampered one. It is assumed hopefully within the allotted year a “Surprise Parent” will surface.

It is a lose/win situation the contestants have not been told that the impregnated loser/losers will win a house, a holiday and a car. I feel this concept of a Tasteless TV show could have a tremendous following during the weeks when the X factor, Emmerdale, Coronation Street, Britain has Talent and the host of cooking shows go into recess.

A new program is being promoted by Channel Seven in Australia who appear to specialize in these type of shows for the walking brain dead it is called “Brides and Prejudice” The programs catch cry is it’s “controversial” as is most Bad Taste Television I might add. A short promo show a white girl with her overweight Negro husband with his arms around her heavily pregnant stomach, an expectant mother who could be harbouring quads and should have given birth a couple of months earlier.

I assume there had been some resentment by her family of her choice of husband; thus the title for this TV offering and is where the word Prejudice in the programs title is cleverly utilized.

This delicate subject is not new. Sarkozy the ex-president of France advocated the same but instead married a gorgeous leggy ‘hot blonde chick’ from the cat-walk. The saying do as I say, not what I do spring to mind.

Sarkozy said “The goal is to meet the challenge of racial interbreeding. The challenge of racial interbreeding that faces us in the 21st Century. It’s not a choice, it’s an obligation. It’s imperative. We cannot do otherwise. We risk finding ourselves confronted with major problems. We MUST change; therefore we WILL change.

Following his advice Mr. Kalergi’s vision of the future of humanity surely will be realized.

Kalergi said "The man of the future will be of mixed race. The races and classes of today will gradually disappear due to the elimination of space, time, and prejudice. The Eurasian-negroid race of the future, similar in appearance to the Ancient Egyptians, will replace the diversity of peoples and the diversity of individuals."

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