Sunday, 30 September 2012

England of Yesteryear Tours


England of Yesteryear Tours

As you pass through many of our black and Asian townships today, you will be pleasantly surprised by the rich patchwork quilt of scattered diversity and gasp at the colourful tapestry and rich pageantry of peoples of many hues and colours. Do not be alarmed if you do not hear English being spoken.

The upside for the overseas tourist and expat alike is the ever changing rich kaleidoscope and blend of exotic cultures, which you will observe as our magic carpet whisks you from one Black Township to another.

Experience the ever changing scenery as row upon row of Asian shops spread out before you in a never ending breathtaking vista that you would only marvel at in the pages of a National Geographic magazine. From the sidewalk café’s exotic, heady, gentle zephyrs waft in to titillate and assail your sensory organs. Native venders peddling tantalizing gourmet delights that beckon you to savour and immerse your very being in the pungent, aromatic, spicy aroma’s which will magically transport you to the mysterious east, that like a siren will captivate your weakened senses and tempt you within.

The good news for the overseas tourist and connoisseur of exotic, eastern culinary delights, is that a small number of these café’s have actually been given a clean bill of health, but in many scattered pockets they are still a serious cause for concern of outbreaks of disease.

The strident cries of the natives selling cheap handmade tat, all squabbling for the visitor’s dollar all add to the endearing charm of the east.

There is a regular daily transport service and coaches will be leaving on the hour every hour for sightseeing tours around many of our Asian cities. These coaches will all have English speaking tour guides who will point out the ‘Noveau’ English architecture of the many domed Mosques and Minarets.

You will actually have the opportunity to disembark from our coach at safe transit points and see at first hand the bearded, nightshirt wearing natives and to take advantage of the chance to observe the females wearing a strange garb called Burkhas and to be hypnotized by the captivating call to prayer from the lofty Minarets to the faithful, a not to be missed chance for you to take photographs as keepsakes for your treasure chest to treat your grandchildren to a visual feast on your return home, a visual feast that is the England of today.

At all times it is prudent to err on the side of caution and thus we strongly suggest you stay close to your tour guide at all times, particularly if confronted by young Asian Hoodies looking for any opportunity to relieve you of your mobile phone and any loose change.

For those of you that are enjoying a first time visit to this wonderful country of ours and indeed even those of you that have been domiciled abroad for more than 60 years, might I add a word of caution, if I may?

Be aware of a new phenomenon, one of the sadder aspects of the hideous experimentation of forced Multiculturism that signaled the evolution of a new human species, the result of our government’s inexcusable experimentation with social engineering that went horribly wrong. One of the many negative side effects that were spawned by forced multiculturism saw the birth of a new human cross species called ‘Wiggers’.

They are easily recognizable by their gait, dress and their strong West Indian patois and seem to enjoy a penchant for a strange, primitive almost unintelligible Negro “music” called Rip Rapping or Hip Hopping, whilst skipping from one foot to another, but it’s their white skin colour that distinguishes them from the true Negro.

For those of you that like to experience a past England there are our ever popular “England of Yesteryear” tours; brochures and prices are available upon request. These coach tours will take in parts of England and Wales to the West and onto the highways and byways of the South West where the indigenous people have been widely scattered in small diasporas that only took 6 decades to almost decimate the indigenous peoples culture and history.

Marvel at the lovely little villages, thatched houses, and fisher-folk and people speaking English. As these areas have been virtually untouched, one has the opportunity to learn a great deal about England’s past history from the locals. It has been strongly rumored these quaint localized communities might be heritage listed.

As we have had an overwhelming response for the Yesteryear Tours in particular, might I respectfully suggest you book your tour early. Again I would like to emphasize, all our tours carry registered indigenous English speaking guides.

Director……. …………..Albion

Yesteryear Tours……Discounts for Pensioners and Nursing Mothers.