Thursday, 25 October 2012

Lennie Bagel, a Story of Times Long Past...A Fantasy.

A Fantasy.

Lennie Bagel, a Story of Times Long Past.

Lennie Bagel a poor immigrant from the land of Canaan leads his small band of disciples on an everlasting quest. It is Lennie’s Holy Grail. It is what drives this lonely old man to distraction. It consumes him like an inferno; it gnaws at his very soul. At this time he did not know exactly what the Holy Grail was, other than he was sure there was one…..............somewhere.

Lennie was born in the land of the Vandals and the Visigoths but because his ancestors were originally from Holy Land he was chased out of his homeland and was forced to make the long trek back to the land of Canaan, the land of his ancestors.

But Canaan was desolate, barren and unfruitful so a longer pilgrimage took him back across the lands of the Vandals and Visigoths to the fertile isles of the Angles and Saxons.

The poor natives who lived there appeared leaderless and were kept in a constant state of fear and confusion. They had been brutally overwhelmed by millions of foreign invaders from the East whose numbers and cultures were quite frightening and confronting. The invading males mated with the island's females, the result causing strange dark offspring.

The dwindling numbers of Angles and Saxons lived in constant fear of being fragmented then scattered to the far flung reaches of this planet, lost and forgotten as the original ethnic race of these cold Northern Islands. Their homeland confiscated.

I should mention Bagel's spiritual leader had been cruelly snatched from him. His followers had been left in a void. The world has passed them by. They had been forgotten. His young acolytes were not sure what to make of this strange disturbed man from the land of Canaan but as Christians they felt compassion for him.

Lennie’s staunchest friend is a Wee-man Bonnet another wandering dirt poor immigrant looking for a homeland, Wee-man hangs onto Bagel’s every word, he idolises little Lennie, he can do no wrong. It appears Bonnet’s English, well she is not too good, but Bonnet has learnt a few key words like Nazi, Eva Braun, scum, Mercedes, fascist, Autobahn, Hitler and Berlin, words that took Bagel weeks of coaching to get Bonnet comfortable with the right pronunciations and inflections.

For the Angles and Saxons Bagel was certainly not THEIR saviour, quite the contrary. The miserable lives of the Angles were made even more unbearable with the arrival of Bagel and Bonnet.

One day whilst trekking over the moors Bagel and Bonnet accidently stumbled across some mushrooms; Bagel tells Bonnet, they were magic mushrooms. After devouring a bowl of these fungi, hallucinations set in and as if by magic they both saw the same imaginary enemy.

The imagined enemy were a large huddled group of people who were terrified of what their leaders were doing to them and their country, they feared for their survival. They spoke in hushed tones of being allowed to exist as a recognized ethnic group and being accepted as the ORIGINAL inhabitants of these Northern Islands.

Disturbed Bagel, still hallucinating thought these people were from the same tribe that forced him to make the long trek across Europe, the mountains and the deserts to the Land of Canaan and back again. It disturbed him greatly. Little Bagel found great solace with Bonnet and between them gathered more disturbed people to destroy this imaginary enemy.

Years on Bagel and Bonnet are still with us. Amid a sea of red flags they and their disciples as one turn to the East to their spiritual homeland, and in reverence to their Messiah, a Mr Stalin they chant from the same hymn sheet and with vacant, staring eyes
like Zombies intone in unison words like Nazi’s, Fascist, Scum. They mumble words like holocaust, Panzer, Mussolini, Hitler and the occasional Sieg Heil.

It matters not that Lennie’s Holy Messiah was responsible for the slaughter of 20 million, give or take a few thousand, of his own people. It is called a Holocaust. Lennie understands this word very well and uses it………...............…a lot.

It is only by the grace of Lennie’s God that Lennie did not personally take an active role in one of these past Holocausts. No doubt being young, agile and fleet of foot and knowing which way was west was greatly in his favour.