Wednesday, 31 October 2012

EU Financial Trade and Commerce Plc.

EU Financial Trade and Commerce Plc.

We are an old established company first founded in 1972. We specialise in the purchase of European Countries. We also deal in futures; that is, the futures of the people and their tangible assets that comprise the populations of the countries in our ever-growing portfolio.

At present our portfolio comprises 27 European countries. Our financial base is secure. It is guaranteed by the European banks and generously funded by the taxpayers of the principle governments who have signed the EU Plc Draft constitution or Lisbon Treaty as it is now known.

The population of two of our acquisitions, France and Holland, found some aspects of our company's constitution questionable after discovering it took precedent over their own constitutions. Hopefully, hastily renaming the EU Plc draft constitution the Lisbon Treaty will negate any concerns they may have had.

Our long term commitment is to eventually extend our holdings to include countries such as Turkey and the regions of North Africa and Arabia.

We are at present in delicate negotiations with the Labour Government in London for the purchase of Great Britain; the details of our offer are confidential as is the P.O.A. There are some difficulties arising with on-going talks with London because of external pressure on their government to hold a referendum on the acquisition of its country.

Nevertheless the Brown Labour Government have assured us unequivocally any referendum that might be held will be a referendum on our company's constitution and not on a complete rejection of their incorporation into our company.

The negotiations are proceeding well and we do not expect any problems in future talks with London. Audits of our financial accounts remain relatively free of investigation. When dealing with London the intense lobbying of Pro EU influential British politicians such as Lord Mandelson, Mr. David Cameron and Mr. David Miliband are making their country's eventual takeover and incorporation into our portfolio a certainty.

I am sure you are aware at the same time we are in negotiations with Dublin for the purchase of Southern Ireland. Currently we have been presented with some minor difficulties concerning the finer points of the contract concerning putting to rest their obsession with neutrality and family planning. Hopefully these difficulties will be ironed out within the next few months when the people are once again sent back to the polls hopefully this time returning a yes vote.

Norway can be likened to a nervous bride on her wedding night. Despite two failed attempts by referendum to enter our parent company, the European Community in 1972, and the EU Plc. in 1994, the question of whether or not Norway should once again be approached to join our company has been raised in the past few years in the national Norwegian policy debate. This, however, is not going to have any practical consequences in the immediate future.

We cannot bring you a complete breakdown of the revenue of the combined total assets of the principal countries in our portfolio other than to say that their oil, gas, gold, fishing stocks, agricultural industries etc makes being part of our company a rock solid investment particularly at these volatile times.

EU Financial Trade and Commerce are also aware that the on-going negotiations on the purchase of Turkey appear to be causing unnecessary concern. The concern being that Turkey’s 72 million inhabitants being of the third world might swamp the European countries whose people make up the First world.

Our company Demographers in Brussels have assured us and other countries heads of government that 72 million Muslims spread over 27 European countries would scarcely be noticeable.

Our accountants at the European Union Inc. will be pleased to send you a prospectus on request. Thank you for your interest.

EU Financial Trade and Commerce Plc.

All enquires to EUssr@we

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